Success is measured objectively by the observer. There are personal measures for success and societal measures for success, but I believe when people ask the question, “What does it mean to be successful?” They are actually asking what it means to have a successful life? 

 

Personal success is determined by your own standards of achievement. For one person, running and finishing a marathon is a success while someone else may only consider it a success if they finish in the first place. I say that success is determined when you complete any task or goal you have set for yourself.

 

For example, imagine you have a co-worker named Jerry who always seems to be running late, and is generally unorganized. One day he gets called to the office and receives a disciplinary action. The manager tells him, “If you are late one more time, I will have to let you go.” From that day forward he starts coming in 15 mins early and even starts to be more organized. From the perspective of the boss and even the other employees, Jerry has successfully transformed into a reliable worker.

 

But Jerry doesn’t see this as a success. He doesn’t go home and tell his family how he has become successful at showing up to work on time. Though, objectively, this is a success. Jerry set out to not be fired and changed his bad habit of being late. He is no longer at risk of losing his job and can continue to provide for his family.

 

This story has a few different messages. 

1. It shows that small changes can be consider successful

2. It shows that something you may not consider a success can look like success from other people's point of view. 

3. Your actions can be someone else's success (i.e. The manager “successfully” gets Jerry to perform his duties. I put “successfully” in quotes because we all know managers tend to get credit for the work of others.)

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The main point I want to focus on is why Jerry didn't feel successful even though it was an accomplishment. Jerry didn't count this as a success because he didn’t set this goal for himself. We find that we only feel successful completing goals we set for ourselves.

 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I never felt a sense of accomplishment when I graduated from high school. On the other hand, I did feel accomplished when I got the highest grade on my biology test my sophomore year, and to complicate things a bit, I also got the highest grade on a written assessment in my English class, but I didn’t feel a sense of success from this accomplishment.

 

The reason I felt accomplished for one achievement and not the other, which was essential the same achievement, has to do with the second requirement for feeling successful. The tasks set before you must be difficult to some degree. A hurdle needs to be made.

 

Graduating High school was not a goal I set for myself and honestly it wasn’t really hard to do. On the other hand, the biology test that I aced was the first test I had to study for because it was the first time I was at risk for failing a class. Prior to the test I had a D. This test was weighted and would ultimately determine whether I passed or failed. The teacher didn’t motivate me and at the time my parents didn’t know I was at risk of failing.

 

I made the personal decision that I would study for this test.

Side note: I never studied for any other test, so this was a new thing for me. So when I passed with a 98% and the rest of the class had a mean of 70%, I was excited and felt I had succeeded. My grade got a generous bump to a B+ and I would go on to never use anything I learned from for that test ever again.

 

Now, the English test was different. I wasn’t at risk of failing and most importantly, this test was extremely easy for me. When we got the grades back the teacher was excited to tell me how great I had done. Though I was surprised, I didn’t feel accomplished at all.

 

In my mind, I was thinking that the teacher deserved the praise. She was the best English teacher I ever had. She seemed to explain everything so well I never thought it was difficult. Though this was not a common opinion amongst other students. I just think it was one of those times when the teacher's methods clicked with how I learned.

 

In any case the point that I am making here is that success is in the eye of the beholder. It is based on what you want to accomplish, and the obstacles you have to overcome to obtain it. To have a successful life you have to stack many smaller successes throughout your life.

 

What are some goals you want to achieve?

What barriers do you wish to tear down?

And what is your plan for getting there? 

 

And remember this. Not all stories are movies.

 

What I mean by that is, not all goals need to be big and magical. Some of the most fulfilling goals are simple such as wanting to travel to another country, wanting to learn multiple languages, or wanting to raise a healthy child.

 

Whatever your aspirations are, it is important that they mean something valuable to you. If you chase someone else's dream, even if you achieve it, you will not feel the same level of success that you would from achieving a dream that is closer to your heart.